Monday, November 27, 2006
Mrs.Udurawana caught Udurawana searching high and low all around his living room.
Mrs. Udurawana: "What are you searching for?"
Mr. Udurawana: "Hidden cameras!"
Mrs. Udurawana: "And what makes you think that there are hidden cameras here?"
Mr. Udurawana: "That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing. Every few minutes he keeps saying, 'You are watching Rupavahini channel'. How does he know that?"
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"Relaxing"
Udurawana was enjoying the sun at the beach in America.
A lady came and asked him, "Are you relaxing?"
Uduravana answered, "No, I am Udurawana" Another guy came and asked him the same question. Uduravana answered, "No! No! Me Udurawana!"
A third one came and asked him the same question again. Uduravana was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place.
While walking he saw another Sri Lankan soaking in the sun. He went up to him and asked, "Are you Relaxing?"
The other man was a lot more educated and answered, "Yes, I am relaxing."
Uduravana slapped him on his face and said, "Stupid, idiot. Everyone is looking for you and you are sitting over here!"
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"Heaven"
Udurawana! died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate, Saint Peter told him that new rules are in effect due to the advances in education on earth. In order to gain admittance each soul must answer two simple questions:
1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
2. How many seconds are there in a year?
Udurawana thought for a few minutes and answered.
1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.
Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow answer, even though? it's not the answer I expected. But how did you get 12 seconds in a year?"
Uduravana replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, etc..."
Saint Peter opens the gate without another word.
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"The Wash Basin"
Udurawana goes to a hotel in Colombo and eats heartily. After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead.
The manager comes running and asks him, "Sir, what are you doing?"
Udurawana replies, "Read this board here, it says "Wash Basin".
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"English Exam"
Udurawana finished his English exam and came out.
His friends asked him how he did his exam.
He replied "Exam was okay, but for the past tense of THINK, I thought, thought, and thought, at last I wrote THUNK!!!"?
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"Answer the following questions in brief"
Udurawana is appearing for his University final examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes,and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his shirt and throws it away as well, followed by his pant, socks and watch. The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. "I am only following the instructions here," he says, "it says here, "Answer the following questions in brief ".
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"Essay"
The English teacher told all the students in the class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except Udurawana.
He has written. "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH !!! "
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"The Postman"
The Postman: I have to come 5 miles to deliver you this parcel
Udurawana : Why did you come so far? Instead you could have posted it.
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"Letter to his Son"
Udurawana was writing something very slowly.
A Friend came and ask:" Why are you writing so slowly? " Udurawana replies "I'm writing to my 6 years old son,... he can't read very fast....
You can't make someone love you, all you can do is to be someone who can be loved, the rest is up to the person to realise your worth........ Do not expect Love in return. Just wait for it to grow in their heart. But if it does not, Be content that it grew in yours....
